If you’re thinking about becoming a foster carer, you may have heard different opinions about who can foster and what fostering involves. Some of these are based on misconceptions that can discourage people from making an enquiry.
The best way to find out whether fostering could be right for you is to speak with a fostering service and learn more about the role, the assessment process and the needs of children and young people who require foster care.
“I’m single, so I can’t foster”
Many people assume they need to be part of a couple to become a foster carer. In reality, foster carers come from a variety of household and relationship circumstances.
What matters most is whether you can provide safe, stable and nurturing care for a child or young person, and whether you can meet the responsibilities of the role.
“I’m too old to foster”
There is no such thing as the perfect age to foster. People at different life stages may bring valuable experience, patience and skills to the role.
When considering prospective foster carers, the focus is on whether they can meet a child’s needs and provide safe and appropriate care.
“I can’t foster because I’m LGBTQ+”
Children benefit from caring adults from a wide range of backgrounds and life experiences.
A person’s sexual orientation or gender identity does not determine their ability to provide safe, nurturing care. Assessments focus on a prospective foster carer’s capacity to meet the needs of children and young people.
“I work full-time, so I can’t foster”
People often assume they must fit a particular lifestyle to foster. In reality, fostering services consider each person’s circumstances individually.
The practical demands of fostering can vary depending on the needs of a child and the type of fostering being considered. As part of the assessment process, prospective foster carers are usually asked to think about how they would balance fostering with other commitments.
“I rent my home, so I won’t be able to foster”
Whether someone owns or rents their home is only one aspect of their circumstances.
What is important is whether a home can provide appropriate accommodation for a child or young person and meet relevant safety requirements.
“I can’t foster because I have a criminal record”
Safeguarding children is a central part of fostering. Prospective foster carers are required to undertake a range of checks as part of the assessment process.
Having a criminal record does not automatically mean someone cannot become a foster carer. However, certain offences may affect eligibility and all relevant information must be fully disclosed and considered.
Because decisions depend on individual circumstances and legal requirements, prospective applicants should discuss any concerns directly with the fostering service.
“I already have children, so fostering isn’t an option”
Many people who enquire about fostering already have children living at home, while others have adult children who no longer live with them.
The presence of children in the household does not automatically prevent someone from becoming a foster carer. However, assessments will consider the needs of everyone in the household and how fostering may affect family life.
Children and other household members may be involved in discussions throughout the assessment process where appropriate.
Thinking about fostering if you already have children
“I need to be perfect to become a foster carer”
No one is perfect, and fostering services are not looking for perfect people.
Children and young people need carers who can provide stability, consistency, empathy and understanding. They need adults who are willing to learn, reflect and work collaboratively with others to support their wellbeing.
Foster carers come from many different backgrounds and bring a wide range of skills, strengths and experiences.
“I have a disability, so I won’t be allowed to foster”
Disabled people can bring valuable skills, experiences and perspectives to fostering.
Having a disability does not automatically prevent someone from becoming a foster carer. Assessments focus on a person’s ability to provide safe, stable and nurturing care, taking account of their individual circumstances and any support that may be available to them.
Many disabled people have experiences and strengths that can positively inform their understanding of difference, inclusion, resilience and overcoming challenges.
“I couldn’t care for a child from a different ethnic, cultural or religious background”
Children needing foster care come from diverse backgrounds, cultures, faiths and communities.
Foster carers play an important role in helping children develop a positive sense of identity and maintain connections to their culture, heritage, language, faith and community wherever appropriate.
Where a child and foster carer do not share the same background, it is important that carers are willing to learn, listen and actively support the child’s identity and experiences.
You may wish to reflect on questions such as:
- How would you help a child feel proud of their culture, heritage and identity?
- How would you respond if a child experienced discrimination or prejudice?
- Do you have opportunities to build relationships with people from different backgrounds and communities?
- How would you help a child maintain meaningful connections with their culture, faith, language or community where appropriate?
- What additional learning or support might help you meet a child’s identity needs?
Supporting a child’s identity, culture and sense of belonging is an important part of providing nurturing foster care.
Every foster carer is different
Children and young people need foster carers with a wide range of skills, experiences and backgrounds. Rather than ruling yourself out because of a common misconception, consider finding out more about fostering and speaking with a fostering service about your circumstances.